I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile as discussions has come up with many friends and people with kids sitting in the same situation that we are in.....trying to decide where to send our kids to school. It truly has never been a question as to where we would send our kids. We have always known that we would use the public school system. There are several reasons for this choice but the biggest reason is:
1. God has called us to be a light in the world that we live. (Matthew 5:13-16) "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden." Jamie had a student one year in his class that told her parents "If all the Christians go to the same school; what about the kids in the rest of the schools?"
2. As a church family we have been really challenged to go and be a part of our community and make relationships to make a difference. What a better way to do this as parents then getting involved in our neighborhood school? The public schools need more parents to get involved to make differences in the schools. Jamie always comments on the effect of one positive kid and one positive parent in his class. You will not connect better with other parents than connecting over kids.....there is a bond that happens and a trust that develops and doors open to show love and to make a difference. We live near a great community elementary school that we plan on utilizing and becoming apart of because this the hub of our community in which we live.
3. We would like our children to deal with the tough questions while they are still in our home so that we can talk it through with them instead of them dealing with issues and situations after they have already become an adult and left our home.
4. Back when Aidan was a baby we read the book "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel. It is was an amazing book and one that I would recommend to every parent. In one chapter he was talking about raising "risky" kids. Instantly I remember telling Jamie I wanted to raise risky kids rather than safe Christian kids. In one part, the author says:
"Raising children in an evangelical hideaways and creating a spiritual Disneyland works directly against the development of an empowered relationship with Christ..... These protected environments don't allow a system of spiritual antibodies to develop within the character of the child. This produces a generation of people who must stay within a spiritually sterilized environment in order to thrive. These are nice systems that produce nice kids who marry nice kids who to go nice churches and hang out with like-minded nice friends. Meanwhile, the lost people in the world around them continue in their doomed condition. In these environments, there is little spiritual adventure. God is nice, Jesus becomes a plush toy that we cuddle and we become irrelevent."
5. I don't want to make decisions for our kids out of fear. Philipians 4:6 says "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God". Grace Based Parenting also suggested that " Fear-based parenting is the surest way to create intimidated kids, It's also the surest way to raise Christian kids who either don't have a passion for lost people, are indifferent to the things of God, or out and out rebel against their parents, their church, and the Lord". Ouch!
Some of you may be wondering where Jamie and I went to school and we both attended a Christian school. We both would say that we had good experiences in those schools, however we are choosing to do it differently for our kids. This does not mean that our parents made the wrong choice, or that Christian or traditional schools are always a wrong choice. There is a time and a place for everything and everyone's situation is unique. But for where we are at right now and for the things that we truly believe in, our local community school is the choice for us. We've been struck by Christ's example of always intentionally seeking out the people of this world and meeting them where they were at. Why should we not do the same?
7 comments:
I was just having this discussion with a group of friends, and also brought up the point about being the light, etc. Great post, thanks for validating what my own thoughts were, and putting them down in writing better than I could!
i like what you've written here, some good points and lots to think about!
i totally appreciate your viewpoint and stand on this issue, Megan. and I'm smiling about the fact that I can agree with what you're saying and yet am considering private education. still thinking we'll end up in the public school system after kindergarten, but just not decided about that first year :)
thanks, Megan!
Megs,
I totally appreciate your point of view and the thought that went behind it. As you know all of our kids are(or will be) in private school and that is a choice we made after putting our oldest in public for kindergarten (which lasted all of 3 months before we moved him to private). I also believe however, that there are many ways for children to go out into the world and share their faith and school is only one of them, organised sports is one of them, music and drama are others that come to mind, as well as being a part of a Church that has a very deliberate youth outreach ministry. But as I said I appreciate the viewpoint you have shared because I hear it all the time. Is it wrong? no...is it right? no. It is what it is and while Cheryll and I held the same thoughts about putting our kids into public school initially (at least until high school) we realised very quickly that this was something that wasn't going to work for us when it came to our oldest and as a result, the very negative experience we had with public school teacher and administration was completely reversed by the very positive experience we had in the private school. Did we make the move to “protect” our children from the world? No...Did we put them in private school because we felt that they would get a better education? No... We recognize that both good and bad are possible in both public and private, but for us we felt it was important to give our Children as much a firm foundation of Christian values as we could (including every day at school). I like that our children pray every day at school, I like that when something happens to friends of theirs they are able to openly pray about it without being ostercized by teachers (again, it is not the kids they would go to school that I have issue with). I know there are many wonderful teachers in the public system (I am friends with a lot of them) but there hands are tied as well. So while they are at private school we at the same time as parents must be teaching them about the need and the calling of every Christian to go forth and be a light unto the world. As you also know I came out of the public system and Cheryll only was in private school for high school. I think I turned out pretty good, so like you both it is not based on our experiences that we made the decisions for our kids that we did. We did it based on what we saw as best for our kids, which is exactly what every parent needs to do. I’m happy to hear that you and Jamie have made the decision you have made at this point for the boys, as you, and only you, know what is right for your kids and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Well said Megs! Jamie and his sisters were actually in the public school system from K-Grade 7 and had an awesome elementary school where we were all very involved and able to make a huge difference. I totally agree with what you have written and am often saddened by the fear-based parenting that I see in our churches today.
The irony was that we gave each of our kids the choice when they were headed to High School and each one chose Private Christian school for different reasons....you just never know! :-)
Very well-written Megs :) Good job getting your thoughts down on paper! Our kidlets will definitely be public ... not much choice in these parts though!
I remember this being a huge decision (27 years years ago) too. There was a new Private Christian School starting and there were those who felt very strongly about our obligation as parents to train them in the way they should go... meant Christian School. We chose public ... for some of the same reasons as you have ...and when our kids were old enough to chose for high school they all chose private. I don't think there is a right and a wrong way...
You and Jamie are right to use the gifts God has given you to be involved in the public school system. God has obviously given you a heart for that, esp. an "in' with Jamie's carrier.
There may however be friends who feel a different pull for reasons God has laid on their heart.
All the best!
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